Back when Stef was 12-week’s pregnant, I was a nervous wreck. Given Stef was a high-risk pregnancy, every day gained was an accomplishment. During this time, I was flying out for my job every Monday and leaving Stef at home for a full day and night. It was terrifying for me, and I would always have both Stef and our little one (which we didn’t know her gender yet) in my mind. I wrote this on an Uber from the way to the airport:
To my beautiful baby,
I’m so excited, my beautiful baby, for you to come into this world. You’ve already blessed us with your presence. I’m so excited to find out whether you are our little Nicolas, or if you’re our gorgeous Isabella. I can’t wait to hold you so that in moments where I feel overwhelmed, I can feel so full of life and happiness–just like the power your incredible mommy has.
I love you so much already. I can’t express how much joy I feel for us being able to tell the world I am going to be your father. I’m already proud of everything that you will do and be, and I pray that God always protects you– that the Universe gives you a fulfilling and incredible long-life of happiness and pure joy.
I promise I will always take care of you in my best capacity. Through any hurdle, I will make sure you are safe. I will make sure you and mommy are always doing well. And I promise to try my best with not being too over-protective.
I don’t know how this world will look like when you’re a grown adult. But however it is, you’re going to be a blessing to it. You’ve already changed so much around you. Your mommy and daddy are filled with a renewed sense of life. You’re helping make all your 4 grandparents even crazier than they were before– they are buying you everything without even knowing what gender you’ll be!! They think you’ll be a little boy. Let’s see if their either right or you prove them wrong!
Wow– I love you so much my baby. I’m going to teach you to read. I’m also going to teach you all about animals. You’ll love them I promise. They are as innocent and fascinating as you– they need more people to be able to understand them. I’ll teach you about society and being a good person– you’ll need to learn how to appreciate all types of people that make up this world, and be able to feel empathy for all those around you. I’ll teach you geography, world cultures, and we’ll take you to some incredible places. We just have to make sure we do so without spoiling you too much on fancy room service, because I know you’ll have a great taste in food. You’re going to learn to pick veggies and fruits from our yard, and you’ll know all about planting seeds. You’ll learn to appreciate all the little things, and early on you’ll see how much magic there is to the world when I teach you how a caterpillar can turn into a butterfly. If you get into sports, I’ll try my best to get active with you, learn your sport and play with you. I’ll go running with you– mommy already got us the jeep stroller so pretty soon I have to start working out early. When you have games, or a play, or a show, I will be there, and apologies if I’m the only dad out there recording the whole thing– one day you’re going to want to look back at those videos.
I love you, I’m so excited, and thank you so so much for being the joy that you have been in our life already. I’m looking forward to every moment, I can’t even wait to hear how your cries will sound like. God– you and your mommy are my everything already (and we have to include Lolita– she’s going to grow up with you in your early years, I can only hope you remember her when you’re older).