Why I Won’t Pierce My Daughter’s Ears

Every now and then, I get someone asking me when we’re going to pierce Isabella’s ears. I don’t know if it’s because I’m destined to me a bitter old man or something, but it really bothers me when people ask that. I try hard to cool myself down because I know it’s such an innocent question and no one ever means any harm by it. But it sucks that I have to explain my position on that- particularly when I’m the oddball that tends to think so drastically about things.

It’s not that I’m against ear piercing or anything like that, but I just prefer not to have to modify or cause pain to my baby girl’s body in any way if it’s unnecessary. Even more so when it’s just for a societal norm that is expected for no valid reason. Why is it that as a society we cringe when we see our babies or pets get their shots, but so willingly excited to put our daughters through pain to see them wear a pair of earrings?

I know, I’m so drastic with this. I get it. And no offense to pretty much everyone else that doesn’t think this way…it’s not my intention to shit on it. It’s a personal decision, and everyone has a right to make their own.  It’s just that for me, it doesn’t really align with the way we’re raising our daughter.

I know this is an unfair comparison because the pain is so drastic, but as a concept for female decorativeness, how different is ear piercing to other practices such as foot binding, coiled necks, or even female circumcision? They all involve modifying a child’s body without even their ability to understand what is going on, all in an effort to make them be more attractive to men in their cultures.

In the future will I allow it?

One time back when I came home from middle school, I had the intention to pierce my ear. All the wannabe gangsters that were deemed cool kids had them, and I was so ingrained in the environment around me that I didn’t want to feel left out. Without telling my parents, I got home, got some ice and stuck a fake diamond stud earing I had bought on my own through my earlobe. I bled like crazy, left it on through the pain and then went ahead and did the second one. Those things were infected for ages and still haven’t closed to this day.

I can’t be hypocritical now and tell my daughter she can’t have them. It’ll come a point in time when Isabella will assimilate to the culture she’s being raised in and may naturally ask us to get her ears pierced. At that point, she’ll be old enough to understand what she’s asking for, and we can then sit down with her to explain to her the process, the pain expected and use it as a moment to tell her about societal norms. Of course, she’s still want them after that, and we’ll be there holding her hand the moment she gets them. From my end, I’m going to feel so much better I knowing she’s doing this with her own awareness, and not anyone done to her.

So for now, Isabella, my ridiculously beautiful AND bald baby girl, will continue to show her cuteness through her pretty smile and big hazel-gray eyes, unassisted by any outdated piece of femininity indicator.